Transform Drama, Create Joy
You’re smart and successful. You value personal and spiritual growth. You’ve come far in your healing journey, but you struggle to use the fruits of your growth with those you love. When you’re triggered, doubt yourself, or experience self-judgement, you question your ability to be the person you want to be for yourself and your family. As time goes on, you find yourself and those you love, repeating the same unhelpful cycles and before you know it, you’re caught in Stable Misery.
You strive to feel connected to your family and want your kids to have a better experience growing up than you did. Or maybe you had a great experience growing up and just want to uplevel theirs.
You’re committed to making this marriage work. You’re eager to lessen the disconnect you feel with your partner so you can form a joyful, connected, happy, and harmonious family.
Hi, I’m Dr. Lynyetta Willis.
I’m a psychologist and family empowerment coach for frustrated families. My clients are competent in quite a few areas of their lives but often feel disconnected, resentful, tired, frustrated, stuck, inadequate, or helpless when it comes to strengthening their marriage or their relationship with their kids.
They feel a deep calling to grow, both personally and as a family, but worry about getting it right when they struggle with guilt, doubt, self-judgement, overwhelm, or rely on unhelpful patterns they experienced growing up.
I help them transform unhelpful patterns and stable misery cycles, so they can strengthen those relationships that matter most, stay connected and continue growing.
Rejection and pain were familiar to me as a child.
When I was 10 years old, I lost my grandfather to Alzheimer’s disease. As a child, he was my protector and beautifully filled the dad role when my biological father chose to leave the picture after my parent’s divorce. In my mind, the two most important men in my life had forgotten me.
Middle school was H.A.R.D! I experienced constant physical and emotional bullying and at 13 years old, I was molested. Those experiences weighed heavily on me, and I started to believe that I was powerless and unworthy of better treatment.
By high school, the “not good enough” thoughts buzzed in my mind like a swarm of bees. When the sting of those thoughts became unbearable I attempted suicide, but dying that day was not part of my soul’s journey. The attempt was a knot at the end of a long string of experiences and moments I internalized as proof that I was unimportant– a burden not worthy of respect, love, or acceptance.
Across generations in my family, the Four Horsemen mindset of pain, blame, shame, and avoidance were used to keep kids in line.
“Bad” feelings were invalidated, and a child’s needs were okay as long as they didn’t clash with the needs of the adults in the room. I’m not about reverse shaming my family. I was raised by powerful and deeply admirable women and men who stood by me and did the best they could with what they knew. Over many years and through many experiences, I formed a lot of unhealthy beliefs about myself. I even entered into an abusive college relationship that further supported and perpetuated those beliefs. But I’ve come to understand that some of the lessons I learned through my experiences weren’t always aligned with my deepest truths.
From Unworthy Dishrag to the Universal Divine
Ever since I was a child I had experiences that connected me to something far greater than myself; but up until that point, I never had a “church family.” In graduate school, where I studied to be a psychologist, I met a friend who invited me to attend her Christian church. I developed deep friendships and began to see and speak about the world and my experiences through a spiritual lens; I learned to tap into my intuition and divine gifts.
However, after some time the church’s teachings of how “we are like dirty dishrags in the eyes of God” no longer resonated with what I was feeling deep inside. I decided that this perspective did not align with how I was beginning to view myself or show up in the world.
I finally had a deep understanding of people’s inherent worth as invaluable souls; that we’re more than the bodies we inhabit and that a conscious, benevolent presence is within and around us all. The same year, I had my first mystical experience; it was as if someone placed cosmic glasses on my eyes. I was able